How many friends do you have? I suspect that you may have many acquaintances, but how many friends do you have? In 1 Corinthians 16:17 Paul referred to three men who refreshed his spirit. We all need friends.
FRIENDSHIP (1 Samuel 18:1-5; 19:1-7; 23:15-18)
When we think about what the bible has to say about friends the obvious place to look is the friendship between Jonathan and David. The book of Proverbs highlights four lessons on friendship which are well illustrated in David’s close friendship with Jonathan.
- GOOD FRIENDS ARE SELECTIVELY CHOSEN
In Proverbs 12:26 Solomon has the following to say in this regard, a righteous man is cautious in friendship, but the way of the wicked leads them astray. In other words, Solomon is cautioning us against running into friendship. They should be selectively chosen. In Proverbs 13:20 Solomon spells this out for us, he who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm. When the scriptures refer to someone as being a fool, it does not mean someone who is not clever. It means someone who is morally off course. We need to actively cultivate the kind of friends who are going to have a positive effect on us. Jonathan’s friendship with David is a good example of this. The friendship started after David had successfully engaged Goliath in battle. In 1 Samuel 18:1 we are told that, Jonathan became one in spirit with David, and he loved him as himself. What was it in David’s character that attracted Jonathan to him? Compare the language they both use when confronting the Philistines. In 1 Samuel 14:6 Jonathan tells his armour bearer, come, let’s go over to the outpost of those uncircumcised fellows. Perhaps the Lord will act in our behalf. Nothing can hinder the Lord from saving, whether by many or by few. Jonathan struck twenty Philistines in double quick time. In 1 Samuel 17:26, 45 David refers to Goliath as this uncircumcised Philistine. Jonathan correctly reasoned, “this man and I are on the same page. Here is a man whose heart beats in unison with mine. Good friends are selectively chosen (Proverbs 22:24, 25; 24:1). - GOOD FRIENDS ARE SUPPORTIVE AND LOYAL
Someone once said; false friends are like a shadow, keeping close to us while we walk in the sunshine, but leaving us when we cross into the shade. Solomon knew all about this. In Proverbs 19:4 he says, wealth brings many friends, but a poor man’s friend deserts him. True friends however stick to one another. In Proverbs 17:17 Solomon says, a friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity. True friends are a tower of strength to you in your weakness. Jonathan was such a friend to David. We all know that Saul became increasingly paranoid and suspicious of David. In 1 Samuel 19:1 Saul told Jonathan and his attendants to kill David. But Jonathan was loyal and warned David to go into hiding. As soon as David was safe, Jonathan confronted his father in 1 Samuel 19:4, 5. Saul’s jealousy flared up again in 1 Samuel 20 and once again Jonathan stood by David. As Solomon says in Proverbs 18:24, a man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. Do you have friends like Jonathan? Are you that kind of friend? - GOOD FRIENDS SHARPEN ONE ANOTHER
Proverbs 27:17 teaches an important principle. As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another. Solomon suggests that any good friendship would enjoy this healthy clash of personalities. Listen to what Solomon says in Proverbs 27:9, perfume and incense bring joy to the heart, and the pleasantness of one’s friend springs from his earnest counsel. The friendship that David enjoyed with Jonathan was of this kind. You will know that for some years David fled from Saul’s searching armies. The life of the fugitive was not easy. In 1 Samuel 23:16 we read that David was hiding at a place called Horesh, Jonathan came to him and helped him to find strength in God. In 23:17, 18 Jonathan continued to encourage David. True friends do this. Sometimes this will involve rebuke. In Proverbs 27:5-6 we read, better is open rebuke than hidden love. Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses. Oscar Wilde once said, “a true friend always stabs you in the front.” Proverbs 28:23 reminds us, he who rebukes a man will in the end gain more favor than he who has a flattering tongue. You may lose the favoured friend tag for a while but in the end, you will be more appreciated than one who flatters. - GOOD FRIENDS ARE SENSITIVE TO ONE ANOTHER
In Proverbs 25:17 we read, seldom set foot in your neighbour’s house- too much of you, and he will hate you. In other words, you do not need to live in one anothers pockets. Lastly in Proverbs 25:20 Solomon says, like one who takes away a garment on a cold day, or like vinegar poured on soda, is one who sings songs to a heavy heart. Be sensitive to where your friends are at emotionally. If they are in a low place emotionally it is not good sharing all about your joys. Be sensitive to where they are at.