This morning we will see what we can learn from Proverbs to deal with anger in our lives. There is such a thing as righteous anger which is aroused by that which is sinful. When the apostle Paul arrived in Athens and saw evidence of all the idolatry, we are told that he was greatly provoked in his spirit (Acts 17:16). This is righteous anger and more the pity that most of us never experience it. However, if we are truthful 99% of our anger is unrighteous anger.
ANGER (1 Samuel 25)
In our reading this morning we are going to see how David behaves when the red mist descends over him. He loses the plot and behaves with irrational destructiveness.
- WHY DO WE GET ANGRY?
A definition of unrighteous anger that I have found to be helpful is that it is a revenge response to violated rights. What caused the red mist to descend over David’s eyes? What made him see red and strap a sword to his side? What made him gather his men and charge uncontrollably to Nabal’s home? He felt that his precious rights had been violated. Nabal had dissed David in vrs 10, 11 Nabal answered David’s servants, “Who is this David? Who is this son of Jesse? Many servants are breaking away from their masters these days. Why should I take my bread and water, and the meat I have slaughtered for my shearers, and give it to men coming from who knows where?” That comment caused David’s temperature to climb from a cool 37 to a searing 100 degrees in one second flat. Why? Because I have the right to respect! That was not all. Three times in this passage in vrs 7, 15, 21 we are told that David and his men had been a wall of protection around Nabal’s shepherds. They had protected them from bandits and David’s men had not harmed the shepherds or stolen from them. Now it was sheep shearing time a time when there would be festivities and all David asked for in vrs 8 was whatever Nabal could spare. Nabal not only refused him meat but also bread and water. David took leave of his senses and determined to kill every male in Nabal’s household. Why? “I have a right to be appreciated for what I have done. My work deserves to be recognized.” Eliab got angry with David in 1 Samuel 17 because “I have the right not to be embarrassed.” Balaam got angry with a donkey because “I have the right not to be inconvenienced.” - WHAT ARE THE DANGERS OF ANGER?
In Proverbs 30:33 we read, for as churning the milk produces butter, and as twisting the nose produces blood, so stirring up anger produces strife. In Proverbs 14:17 Solomon says, a quick-tempered man does foolish things, and a crafty man is hated. In Proverbs 29:22 we read; an angry man stirs up dissension, and a hot-tempered one commits many sins. Quite clearly wherever an angry man goes strife, folly, dissension and many sins follow in their wake. What foolish things did David’s anger nearly lead to? Lest we fail to grasp the point it is underlined in three verses (vrs 26, 31, 33). It nearly led David to shed innocent blood. Furthermore, in vrs 31 Abigail appeals to David’s future. When you are king my master will not have on his conscience the staggering burden of needless bloodshed or of having avenged himself. In other words, David’s conscience would forever be plagued by the guilt of what he had done. Proverbs 25:28 is worth memorizing, like a city whose walls are broken down is a man who lacks self-control. As long as a city wall remained intact the citizens were safe. As soon as the wall of self-control is penetrated, we are vulnerable to commit foolish acts. - HOW CAN WE MANAGE ANGER?
Firstly, we must remember our definition of anger. It is a revenge response to violated rights. When you sense anger rising in you – don’t deny it. Rather ask yourself some questions. Why am I getting angry? Which of my precious rights do I think is being violated? Ask yourself – do I have that right at all? No! Secondly, if we wish to manage our anger then we need to be obedient to the command in Colossians 3:16; let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom. If we have an anger problem, it is worth committing a few Proverbs to memory. I have quoted Proverbs 25:28 already but Proverbs 16:32 is also worth storing up in your heart. Better a patient man than a warrior, a man who controls his temper than one who takes a city. This proverb says that God esteems a person who can control their temper more highly than the soldier who takes a city. A third secret to managing anger is to remember what Proverbs 19:11 says; a man’s wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense. David had indeed been disrespected by Nabal. Had he merely overlooked the insult he would not have had to storm down the hill baying for blood and been put in his place by Abigail. A fourth secret to mastering anger is to leave vengeance to the Lord. In vrs 33 David commends Abigail for not only keeping him from bloodshed but also from avenging himself. Look at Proverbs 20:22; do not say, “I’ll pay you back for this wrong!” Wait for the Lord, and he will deliver you. This is wonderfully illustrated in our text. David’s anger is calmed by Abigail and he does not slay Nabal as he had promised. The next day in vrs 37, 38 the Lord’s judgment descended on Nabal. If you choose to overlook an offence you might not be vindicated as quickly as David, but you will be in the end.